Calm down and breath…..

Pretty sure you have realized this but patience is not one my virtues!

This weekend I let one thing, one tiny thing ruin my whole weekend. So Al and I went running Friday morning. I met at his apartment at 6am and off we went running towards the temple (quite the metaphor for my life). He had told me the run to the temple was uphill and he was right. It was a slight incline the whole way and I paid for it all weekend. As we got closer the sun was coming we could see it but just as the temple came into view the sky was full of brilliant colors. Purple, pink, orange and yellow. It was glorious and I am so glad I was able to see it. We walked around the temple for a much needed break but oh stopping makes it so much harder to start running again but we did. The run back was no fun, I was pooped but trying to look like I could do it. Which meant less talking from me but that is fine. Any ways I asked what he was up to the rest of the day he says “school project, work then a date”.

 He said it so casually I was so bummed. It was to an institute dance and I am pretty sure and everyone around me even said it when I brought it up but we are pretty sure a girl asked him. He is so busy right now I cannot imagine him thinking of even going…but I really don’t know for sure.  I talked to my sister after the run and cried a lot but I wasn’t even talking about him but I know that was the cause of it. Then I am driving to Cate’s house and one of my favorite songs comes on, “Last Christmas” by Wham no wait that is my favorite but it was actually the Glee version, not the point, but I started crying again and later cried at Cate’s house as well. Cate and I then had a crazy bad day….our moods were not really better till we ate dinner at like 8pm with her cute daughter at Applebees. It was just like the old days, just the three of us…sigh so fun.

So Saturday still grumpy. I just wanted, needed to know what was going on. Well he picked me up that night to go to our friend’s house where we made goofy videos for a Christmas party next week. It was fun, oay a lot of fun but just had that cloud over me. I knew I needed to let it go and let it be. I know Al will let me know if he isn’t feeling it. He would not lead me on so him wanted to be around me is great! Or at least that is how I should feel…but it is not.

Today at church we actually got to talk a bit…he is so fun and I am so proud of him he actually made a comment in my Sunday School class…he is kinda shy in that sense he likes to hear what others have to say and not share his thoughts but I was pretty happy about his input.

So then I text him after church because I never can talk to him afterwards he always has a ton of other people around him. My text just said “call me when you head home”. Well when he called me back I was already taking my lovely Sunday nap. So then I called him back and left a message seeing if he wanted to go to the temple lights later tonight since neither of us would be at FHE tomorrow. He never called or texted. So what do you think was going on in my crazy brain? “he listen to the message and did not want to so he just isn’t going to call me”.

I was wrong thankfully! He called me later tonight and he hadn’t seen my call (he is not a big phone person). Any hoodle we have plans to go in 2 weeks…I KNOW! Who makes plan for 2 weeks? This girl! All his big projects are this week and next week is graduation and his brother’s wedding so dude is busy I know this. We are still going running this week on Wednesday and Friday so I really feel like I can’t complain. We also are going to go to zoo lights that week…so I feel like he is interested or we wouldn’t be making plans 2 weeks out….right?

I just need to breath…..

So one more dilemma with a different guy remember Andy the 40 year old? Well he I am on good authority he is still talking to his ex and guess what she is allowed to see him. So refresher he just had back surgery last week and has been in a lot of pain for the past 3 months and although he calls me gorgeous and beautiful and flirts like he wants to be with me he won’t let me see him because he feels weak and doesn’t want me to see him that way. Any ways so apparently the ex wants him back and is trying to make it work but I don’t know what Andy thinks she is doing. Any ways the conclusion I have come to is he is playing both of us. Seriously if we were in a relationship what would happen if he was hurt again I would be banned from seeing him? It is hard I am too nice I know I just want to phase him out basically but he just had the surgery so I feel I can’t completely because we were friends first and he is going through a tough time but how do I get him to realize I’ve got other stuff going on? Ya know? It is just a weird situation!